why bother?

I am an independent person.  Mostly because I've had to be, but I do what needs to be done and that's that.  On the rare occasion that I ask for help, it would be nice to actually be heard and not fed the same tired bullshit of a response.

For instance, I commented on someone's IG that I wish I could break my addiction to carbs because they make me feel like shit.  And what was their reply?  "Just drop carbs and sugar."  NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!  I know what to do, but I am addicted, and while that may not seem plausible, it absolutely is.

She dismissed me.  I deleted my comment and unfollowed her.  I'm probably one of the most introverted introverts you'll ever know, so it was a big deal that I reached out for some guidance.  I won't make that mistake again anytime soon.

What's the point...?

*sigh*

I am not in a good place.  Life has lost all joy.  My body is the biggest and the sickest it's ever been.  I have less than a handful of people I think I can talk to, but I don't.  I don't think they'd judge me, but I am also so ashamed of what I've become.

I can barely walk from my car to my doctor's appointments.  And since I have these wounds on my calves, I have appointments twice a week for the foreseeable future.  I also have two yearly exams scheduled this week.

I'm going to give ketovore another shot.  I know it works.  I have to kick my sugar addiction.  It is literally killing me.